A Guide to Improve Your Orgasms

The big O. The O-face. The Oh-My-God Olympics. It’s called many names and they all feel equally as sweet. That’s because orgasm is a perfectly natural occurrence, plus it’s excellent for your health. A gift from above, triggered down below, it is.

Did you know that some doctors now recommend ejaculation to help combat a variety of diseases? Back in the day, they would have told you that your insatiable sexual appetites were a sign of demonic possession. Thank God for science and sex toys.

Today, you can reach a climax in countless ways without anyone even batting an eye. We’ve got automatic machines, full-sized life-like dolls, and even virtual reality equipment to play with. But none of that guarantees an orgasm because, well, it’s actually all in your head.

What is an orgasm?

This experience feels so amazing that people have written sonnets about it. The sensation is mentioned in the Bible and referred to in just about every movie on the planet. It’s an extremely intense feeling of deep pleasure, usually emanating from the pelvic region. Some people mix it up with coming or climaxing, yet you can have an orgasm without ejaculation.

What’s the difference between orgasm and ejaculation?

An orgasm is not the same as ejaculation, although the two almost always go hand-in-hand. Generally speaking, the Big O is an overwhelming, full-bodied sensation accompanied by uncontrollable pelvic floor or anal contractions. Alternatively, coming is generally just the experience of ejaculating fluid after direct contact with the genitals.

As expected, you can feel both at the same time or experience neither depending on several factors, such as:

  • Experience levels
  • Your mindset
  • The setting
  • How you feel about your partner
  • The techniques used
  • Your body’s condition

Keep in mind that your O-face can be big, small, or anything in between. It comes (and goes) with a unique eb and flow that also depends on several biological factors. So, the best way to improve your performance in Oh-My-God Olympics is to attack the problem at its root.

How can I improve my orgasms?

Remember that your experience is supposed to be satisfying to you, not just your partner. They should be busy trying to make an O-face of their own. Their turn-ons aught to be what turns you on; that’s how this symbiotic sex dance works. If someone is being selfish, then even the most comprehensive tips will remain worthless.

Orgasms are so much better when tempered in the flames of darkened desires and cooled in the waters of emotion.” – Hēdonē

To enhance the thickness and density of your heavenly hal-O, you’ve got to get serious about some things while letting other things go. For example, releasing inhibitions might allow you and/or your partner to try things that could boost sensations and target emotion. On the other hand, sitting down before bedtime to discuss boundaries is a great way to avoid embarrassing mishaps.

So, with all emotion invested, how does someone improve their orgasms without going off the deep end of debauchery? We all want something to talk about around the watercooler, yet we all want to experience mind-blowing sex as well. Where’s the common ground that prevents us from becoming unapproachable freaks? Hint: It’s already in your noggin.

Orgasm enhancement 101

Most of our intimate intelligence revolves around our ability to recall certain information about ourselves and/or our partners. That means it’s crucial to “know thyself” before even attempting to improve your love life. Nobody’s looking and the doctor says it’s good for you, so maybe masturbate a little bit until you’re more familiar with your body.

Meanwhile, enjoy a more robust orgasm while keeping the hair off of your palms by using some of these handy-dandy hacks:

#1. Branch Out and Try New Things

TARGET: Experience Levels

It’s not that you can’t ride the O-line without being a porn star. The problem is that inexperience often breeds anxiety, which ultimately reduces a person’s ability to get off. Plus, someone without a taste for extremes might freak out the first time they feel an orgasm. Many people have ended up in the emergency room that way.

By discovering and targeting skills, you can home in on what feels good while getting rid of what doesn’t. You can also use what you learn to share new things with incoming partners. Over time, your knowledge base will expand, and you’ll no longer be a noob or have noob-like sexual encounters.

#2. Get Rested and Relaxed

TARGET: Your Mindset

Like Chief Keef said, “Get your mind right.” That means never taking bad moods into the bedroom unless you plan to work them out in a productive way. It also means calming yourself down before you jump in the sheets and avoiding arguments once you get there. For some people, that’s easier said than done.

Prior to attempting a hail-Mary pass in the O-lympics, be sure you’re good and rested. Take a nap, have a hot bath, or smoke a joint. It doesn’t matter what you do, just enter the love shack with relaxed minds and muscles or else you’ll feel the wrath of anxiety in the form of friction. We’ll just leave it at that.

#3. Clean Up to Get Down

TARGET: The Setting

You don’t have to be a neat freak but reaching orgasm is certainly easier when both partners are presentable. So, clean yourself up and while you’re at it, tidy your environment as well. Did you know that your surroundings can affect your state of mind? Your mother would be so proud right now, given she never finds out why you’re finally cleaning the house.

Now, create a space that’s safe, sexy, inviting, and intimate. It should be lit appropriately for the intended scenario and accompanied by mood music. If you want to take it to the next level, stock it with high-quality supplies like personal lubricants, massage oils, scented candles, and aphrodisiac edibles. Here are some options you probably have in your house already:

  • Chocolate
  • Strawberries
  • Champagne
  • Apples
  • Bananas (for obvious reasons)
  • Oysters
  • Pomegranates
  • Salmon
  • Honey
  • Vanilla

Be creative about the setting because it affects more than just your state of mind. In fact, the devil is in the details on this one. If you don’t have enough space or the right kind of equipment, the night can turn sour in a hurry.

#4. Connect More Than Your Bodies

TARGET: How You Feel about Your Partner

Ejaculation requires little more than two genitals rubbing together rhythmically. In some cases, it doesn’t even require that. So, orgasm is obviously about something besides physical contact. That means you’ll have to breed closeness with your partner if you want this to work.

To pull off some productive intimacy, start finding ways to experience things together. If you’re in a long-distance relationship or too busy for frequent sex, employ technology to bridge the gap. You can use VR equipment that’s hooked up to automatic female or male sex toys and then enjoy simultaneous stimulation(we recommend using pocket pussies for men & clitoral vibrators for women) regardless of your schedules.

#5. Break into the Big Leagues

TARGET: The Techniques Used

You can’t buy tickets to a show that you don’t even know exists. So, this part of the puzzle takes some brave experimentation. What does that mean for you as a minor league player? Well, it means stepping up your sex toy and accessory game, for one. It might also mean getting a formal education through good old-fashioned, wholesome porn movie, for two.

Either way, it’s practice that makes perfect. You shouldn’t expect the most mind-blowing orgasm the world has ever known after a single attempt. If you do experience something as earth-shattering as that while still being a rookie, then consider yourself lucky and call me the “Get-It-On Guru” because you’re welcome.

#6. Take It Easy on Yourself

TARGET: Your Body’s Condition

Sex furniture is probably the greatest invention since sliced bread. That’s because it helps position one or more bodies in the throws of passion, all without buckling or breaking. These products come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Plus, some of them even have slots for your favorite sex toys.

Using sex pillows and wedges allows you to deploy, let’s say, more “creative” scenarios in the bedroom. Meanwhile, sex swings and slings add a flair of freak to the fiasco without sacrificing safety. You can lay these supports on the floor, drape them across the mattress, or hang them from the door frame for some 360-degree fun.

The point of this exercise is to ensure safety and satisfaction at the same time. For instance, you and your partner should feel secure enough to expand your sexual horizons with one another to prevent anxiety. And if you’re doing this alone, the same rules apply.

Orgasm safety tips

To achieve a safe yet satisfying orgasm, you’ve got to be smart about sex. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that climaxes require concentration? The fact of the matter is that most people who squirt say they can only gush when their minds are hushed. So, while you might not be able to quiet your racing thoughts in the middle of sex, consider these tips at the very least:

  • Take it slow when you’re trying things for the first few times.
  • Never begin with large, insertable sex toys unless you’re familiar with your tolerance.
  • Use more than enough lube, especially if you’re doing anal.
  • Keep all of your sex toys clean and put away.
  • Respect weight limits and orifice diameters.

As always, follow the instructions on any equipment you use and never assume anything about yourself or your partner.

The money shot

Orgasms and ejaculation may not be the same thing, but the best sexual experiences always “come” when you carefully obsess about the quality of your O-face.

How to Determine Your Sexuality

Millions of people consider themselves “confused” about their own sexuality. So, you’re not alone if you feel curious or indifferent too. As it turns out, there are several reasons for those kinds of emotions. One of which being the fact that so many people are drop-dead sexy these days.

It can be hard to figure out where you fit in, especially if you’re a cool kid who gets along with everybody. What makes you tick for real, and how do you find more of it in a healthy and constructive way? Those are questions we all share, and perhaps we’ve finally found the answer.

To put this into perspective, the definition must first be understood. Keep in mind that this word means different things in every culture, so take what makes sense and leave behind what doesn’t. After all, this entire exercise is to help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. So, why would we start out by forcing a paradigm that doesn’t fit your lifestyle?

What does sexuality mean?

The definition of the concept in question is simple. However, it also involves very complex ideals and biological mechanisms. For example, a person’s sexuality is typically inspired by their life experiences and supported by physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual factors. In turn, their sexual behaviors mirror that which they find attractive and/or repulsive in another human being.

Because this is such a broad term, sexual preferences can consist of just about anything imaginable. In simpler terms, it can describe the way a person identifies in relation to all other genders. So, while the term can sometimes be used to define sexual orientation, it doesn’t always have to.

Factors that affect your sexual nature

Your sexual nature is as unique as your fingerprint, but scientists have been able to break it down into four basic components and these are it:

  • Biology
  • Gender Identity
  • Social Roles
  • Orientation

Meanwhile, there are many theories about the development of each component. Experts always like to speculate about how different factors combine and contrast to create an individual’s sexual flavor. But despite all the sexy science, nobody has been able to put their finger on the exact cause of someone’s sexuality.

Either way, you can still unlock the secret for yourself if you have the right keys. All it takes is a little self-discovery through some hard-core honesty. You’ll also need enough time to mull it over in your head or heart properly. And because this journey could lead to everlasting love, it’s probably a good idea to take it seriously too.

5 ways to determine your sexuality

A person’s sexual preferences are, and should always be, a very private thing. After all, everything tastes a little better when it’s dipped in mystery. Still, you can’t stay in the closet or under the rug forever. At some point, you’ll have to decide (or at least stop searching). Here are 5 ways to do it:

#1. Get to know yourself

The saying goes, “To thine own self be true,” and that’s great advice for anyone trying to determine their sexuality. You can’t possibly determine anything if you don’t know where you stand. So, get to know yourself intimately (and yes, that’s supposed to sound dirty).

That means practicing behaviors and keeping habits to help you uncover triggers. Use this time to figure out what makes you tick. Are you into internal or external stimulation? How do you feel about certain types of people? Does your zipper feel funny around anything in particular or do you get off with anything? Start there.

#2. Expose yourself

This doesn’t mean run out to the local mall and flash your junk to a stranger. It does, however, mean exposing yourself to different scenarios to pick out the things you like and dislike. So, go to parties, explore your neighborhood, and say “yes” to invitations. Just be sure to keep your pants up unless instructed otherwise.

Exposing yourself to different situations can help you become more familiar with who you are as a human being, let along a sexual one. It also allows you to meet new people and try new things, or at least have the opportunities to. People who turn into hermits because they’re sexually confused only get worse when they have nobody for checks and balances.

#3. Experiment a little

You know those opportunities mentioned in the steps above? Well, you need to take advantage of them whenever you can, especially if you want to be sexually solid. Experimentation isn’t just for the science lab anymore. So, attack the situation like it plays a pivotal role in your bedroom master’s degree…because it does.

This means you should make a habit of trying different masturbation, foreplay, and/or intercourse techniques every time you get the chance. Bring in new supplies, fresh faces, and updated perspectives. Start watching the most recent porn, try out some cool VR stuff, or DIY something of your own. The point is to step out of your comfort zone as often as possible until you feel comfortable on the other side.

#4. Try using sex toys

Sex toys get a lot of gruff because of their humble beginnings, but these items are responsible for some downright miracles and that’s the truth. In fact, it’s safe to say that many-a-marriage has been saved by the incorporation of a simple “marital aid.” That’s because everyone loves great sex, even people who can’t figure out their sexuality.

Pleasure products are made specifically to generate an orgasm, sometimes without even needing a partner’s help. They’re clean, compact, and even be clinical so you don’t feel so dirty. Back in the day, you had to get a prescription from a doctor to use a dildo. Now, you can buy one at a store and then go straight home to find out what floats your boat. Take advantage.

#5. Talk to someone

This struggle of yours doesn’t have to remain as mysterious as the magic that happens behind your curtain. You can talk about sexual issues with people who understand and get helpful feedback to consider along the way. There are support groups, private counselors, and no-cost best friends ready to discuss whatevs.

Ask them if they’ve noticed anything that you haven’t noticed. See whether or not you exhibit any signs of a specific sexual orientation. Find out if there are any forgotten memories or statements made. Then, compare those things to the personality you’ve been projecting to uncover matches. If you need more help, start a journal.

Determining your sexuality is a right and a responsibility, so proceed with caution. Understand that picking a preference isn’t always permanent. You can change your mind at any time and the final decision is your business alone. As long as you’re being safe, it doesn’t matter which side of the fence you’re on.

Tips for safely exploring your sexuality

We hear “be safe” all the time, especially when it comes to sex, but what does that even mean? To our grandparents it meant doing the deed in the missionary position and only on specific days of the month to prevent unwanted pregnancy. To the modern person, however, it can mean many different things.

To “safely” explore your sexual nature no matter which century you were born, just do this:

  • Start Out Slow – Even Usher said he wanted to take it nice and slow, so heed his advice. Never rush through this process, especially when you’re experimenting with new things or around new people.
  • Protect the Sex – Not that your partners are nasty or anything, it’s just a good idea to wear condoms and other prophylactics to protect yourself from possible sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  • Record Experiences – It’s much easier to track your progress and make educated decisions when you have something to study. So, keep a detailed journal of your experiences and opinions thereof.
  • Buy a New Supply – Try not to use old or outdated sex toys if you can avoid it. Instead, opt for something brand spanking new because that’s how you make friends, kids. Also, it helps you stay safe and have a better experience.

For more information on sexual safety, talk to your doctor or read expert studies because this is not medical advice.

The takeaway

Your expression of sexuality can be whatever you want it to be, as long as you can figure out what that is.